she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
