I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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