He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
