bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize