is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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