you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
