will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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