yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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