she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
