I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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