so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
