Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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