ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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