somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
