I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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