I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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