captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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