Jerry, you need to find god
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize