My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
