thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i think my cat just said my name.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
