Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
