You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You need Xanax blowdarts
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
