Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
