Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
