i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
