some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
