you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
