yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
