One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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