Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
