some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
