i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
