so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
