He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
