Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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