Its about making memories worth repressing
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
