I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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