capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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