I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
there is glitter all over my balls
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