it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
