There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
