you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
