Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
