that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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