puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize