talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
