i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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