So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
