Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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