your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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