worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
