Im at strip club and am horny
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
