Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The struggles of a small town man whore
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
