I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
