I think i sorta joined a cult last night
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
