I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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