There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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