i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
