I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
