Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we're making bets on your personal life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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