kristin has been a bad kristin
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
