You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
