I'm pants shitting drunk right now
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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