Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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