Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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