I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just cropdusted the office
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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