I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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