i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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