yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
