Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
