So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
