That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
