I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
