He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
