; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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