I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize