Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
