Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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