You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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