now i know why i became what i already was.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
